Brick Wall

That's how I visualize myself when I'm having to enforce boundaries, rules, and expectations with our kids. I see the behavior and I visualize myself as the brick wall between it and the kids. On the other side of the wall is the outcome of the bad behavior and on this side is Bailey or Connor. I decide where the line is and then erect the wall. This allows me to (attempt) to stay strong in the face of whatever reaction my kids may have when coming up against that brick wall.

I don't expect them to not be human. I expect them to feel out the boundaries and try to breech them. I know that they will experience frustration and anger when they can't get their way. When they freak out, I try to picture myself as a teflon pan - nothing sticks, it all slides off me.

Of course, it doesn't work all the time. Some days it doesn't work at all. God, it's hard sometimes. Now that there are two of them pushing the rules all the time, and the various fits, frustrations and consequences...it's exhausting. And I feel like I spend all my time being a hardass. But, I don't feel like there is room for error. I really believe that kids need strong boundaries. I don't feel like they are developed enough to set them on their own, and that we are the only thing between them and complete anarchy.

Dramatic, I know. But, when I get lax, the two of them go Lord of the Flies on me.

I'll be happy when we've gotten them both through 3. And then, we can begin preparing for pre-teen...