Pending

We are all in limbo.  There is one week - 5 working days - left until I am a full-time, stay at home Momma to the kids.  They are feeling the strain of this last week and so am I. 

B seems to be so cranky every morning.  She crawls into my arms after I convince her to come out from under the warm covers and then the morning struggles from there.  I can't figure out if it is that I'm waking her at 5:30 AM and her responses are based on being tired or if it's because she knows that soon everything will be different? 

Whatever the reason, it's hard on both of us.

C is just sleep struggling right now.  Honestly, it's as if his 10 month old little boy self doesn't need sleep to function.  Ironically, I get this...cause I don't need much sleep to function.  But damn - he's supposed to.  And I need him to sleep better than he's sleeping now.  He's up between 2 and 4 times a night.  UGGGG.  Every time I just want to scream.  I hate it. 

The first thing I'm gonna do when I have some time at home with him is get him on a real schedule and see if that helps.  C is leaping forward in major ways right now - he is walking, he is eating real food, he is starting the process of weaning.  I wonder if all of this has just thrown him for a loop and he can't get it worked out.

But then, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, I don't really care "why"...all I care about is making it stop.  So, we'll see.

Mommy and I are counting down the days like seconds.  It feels like every morning is painful, every commute home is worse.  I just want to be done and focus inward.  I have a lot of work to do around here - some things have fallen to the wayside.  We've suffered, our home has suffered, our kitties need more attention.  Our life needs someone to come in and take charge of it again - put it all right.  And that is what I'm gonna do. 

I hope.  At least, that is what I am going to TRY to do...and the reality is that it will be less than perfect, but better than this insanity.

January 6.  A week.  5 working days.